Celebration and Singularity

We'll my birthday came and went but not without joyous celebration. I have to thank everyone who made a seemingly uneventful day into one to remember. I'll go ahead and tell you what went down. First Joe, Natalie, Logan, and Whitney took me out to Buffalo Wild Wings for a great lunch. We hung out a little after that and that was really good for me. Then Thomas came home after getting off early from work just for my birthday. We hung out and planned to go to Sugar Browns to see my friend, Katie, play. Well we went to Sugar Browns and my friend Jake came in from out of town and we got to talk for a little bit. It was an amazing evening of catching up with friends and great music. Katie's music makes me want to live life's mundane moments to the fullest (I'm not sure if that makes sense so I'm going to go ahead and take this parenthetical break to explain it. It's like her music captures the little moments in life. I want to expierence those moments and sincerly enjoy them.). We came home to a delicious cake that Whitney made. It was chocolate with chocolate and M&Ms and it made my heart sing. Well after chilling in the backyard for an hour or two, Katie came over and we had a good old fashioned bass plus tritar (three guitars) jam session. Thanks you very much to Josh, Thomas, and Katie for the delicious music that gently arose from our instruments. The evening was capped off watching some live footage of Coheed and Cambria (AMAZING!). That was the celebration part of the night but the title suggest another theme to my post. Singularity might not be the right word but my mind won't let go of the idea of it. I had a weird experience last night. After Jake left with his girlfriend I decided to move closer to the stage Katie was playing upon and sit with some friends. I was thoroughly enjoying the music as I have already stated above. But something hit me and strong. Singularity. The definition I'm using for this word is the condition of being single. I thought I had finally come to a point where I wasn't like a whiney little schoolgirl about my relationship status. I have to admit I use to be a ball of borderline depression. It was truly a sad sight now that I look back on it. But this shock of singulatiry surprised me because there was no justification for these feelings. It's kind of funny because these emotions push me a little closer to desperation. I see what other people have and I instantly say, "What they have must be better than what I have." I realize that I'm judging things on my perception and not my knowledge of things. These feeling have decided to stick around for today but I hope they don't linger too long. I don't know if I'm going to have to work out these deplorable thoughts myself or if someone will come to me with much-needed wisdom at just the right time. Maybe some combination of the two.