Celebration and Singularity

We'll my birthday came and went but not without joyous celebration. I have to thank everyone who made a seemingly uneventful day into one to remember. I'll go ahead and tell you what went down. First Joe, Natalie, Logan, and Whitney took me out to Buffalo Wild Wings for a great lunch. We hung out a little after that and that was really good for me. Then Thomas came home after getting off early from work just for my birthday. We hung out and planned to go to Sugar Browns to see my friend, Katie, play. Well we went to Sugar Browns and my friend Jake came in from out of town and we got to talk for a little bit. It was an amazing evening of catching up with friends and great music. Katie's music makes me want to live life's mundane moments to the fullest (I'm not sure if that makes sense so I'm going to go ahead and take this parenthetical break to explain it. It's like her music captures the little moments in life. I want to expierence those moments and sincerly enjoy them.). We came home to a delicious cake that Whitney made. It was chocolate with chocolate and M&Ms and it made my heart sing. Well after chilling in the backyard for an hour or two, Katie came over and we had a good old fashioned bass plus tritar (three guitars) jam session. Thanks you very much to Josh, Thomas, and Katie for the delicious music that gently arose from our instruments. The evening was capped off watching some live footage of Coheed and Cambria (AMAZING!). That was the celebration part of the night but the title suggest another theme to my post. Singularity might not be the right word but my mind won't let go of the idea of it. I had a weird experience last night. After Jake left with his girlfriend I decided to move closer to the stage Katie was playing upon and sit with some friends. I was thoroughly enjoying the music as I have already stated above. But something hit me and strong. Singularity. The definition I'm using for this word is the condition of being single. I thought I had finally come to a point where I wasn't like a whiney little schoolgirl about my relationship status. I have to admit I use to be a ball of borderline depression. It was truly a sad sight now that I look back on it. But this shock of singulatiry surprised me because there was no justification for these feelings. It's kind of funny because these emotions push me a little closer to desperation. I see what other people have and I instantly say, "What they have must be better than what I have." I realize that I'm judging things on my perception and not my knowledge of things. These feeling have decided to stick around for today but I hope they don't linger too long. I don't know if I'm going to have to work out these deplorable thoughts myself or if someone will come to me with much-needed wisdom at just the right time. Maybe some combination of the two.

Cake Batter

Who doesn't like cake? Dieters excluded, everyone enjoys a nice slice of cake in any flavor. But what can top that delicious dessert? Then one form it takes before being baked in the oven, cake batter. I think that the batter is so much better. But what makes this gooey treat so much better that it’s baked counterpart? I think the band Sloan puts it best in their song Fading into Obscurity with the line, "This cake is bake, but I much prefer the batter. Perhaps in part because it had so much potential to be delicious and still be influential." Now, I'm not going to generalize my thoughts to fit everyone because I started this blog mostly for me. I've been thinking about my aversion to taking risk and I've come to a conclusion; If I stop seeing the worst that can happen and start looking for the potential in everything I do, I may start the process to optimism. I want to be able to go out to do something I wouldn't normally do and look for the potential for greatness. So I'm going to start small and work my way up to more risk. I'm starting by going to a weekly swing dance get-together and making a fool of myself in front of stranger, of which there is a majority of women.

Ryan Dougles Jarboe

So It Begins

I guess I'll start with a telling-readers-about-what's-going-on post. It just seems like a logical step. Well I've just started college at good ol' South Plains College. Nothing crazy going on in the school front, just a drag to get up early and go all day. All in all it is a good expierence for me and I hope to make some new friends over the semester. Today was just one of those days that nearly murdered me. I did not want to be a school at all but I'm trying my best to be more optimistic and approachable. Don't really know how that is working out just yet. I just started a job at Hastings and it already sucks a lot. I've really been enjoying house church lately. Mostly I like the people and how they encourage me. That's just a broad explanation of what's going on during the beginning of school. One thing I have to mention is the crazy happenings of the night. I went to a swing dance "thing." I learned some moves and it really helped me get out of my comfort zone. It was definately a step in a positve direction for me in the "outgoing" skillset. I need to blublicly (blog+public) thank a few people. Number one is Aaron, my big brother, for making me go even when I was yelling at him for making me go. Second, would be the two girls who tried to teach the most awkward student, Katie and Sarah Le. I know I semi-failed but there will be sucess in the future. All threes of you really did a great deal to encourage me. Thanks six fifty seven. I have some great thoughts for my thought-and-a-song-connection post that will appear when I dictate.

Beginnings

Yes, I've finally fallen to the fad of blogging. I usually try stay away from fads but I'm too intrigued by writing down my thoughts for supporters and strangers to read. I plan on writing two different post at the moment. One would be the whereabouts of my life and the such. The second is really the reason I got into this, I have thoughts I want to express in writing and journaling doesn't fit me.
This post is just an explainatory one, so don't pay as much attention to it as you would others.